If you are involved in a family owned business you have probably spent more than a few sleepless nights trying to resolve some very prickly and sensitive issues – issues that often times involve your spouse, your children and other family members. Issues caused when family interests and business needs collide.

While businesses are started in the hopes of making a profit, the introduction of family relationships means that the success of the business depends not only on the traditional hallmarks of good planning and hard work, but also upon the maintenance of healthy personal relationships among the family members involved in the business. Indeed, in some family businesses the preservation of such relationships is ultimately more important than the affairs of the business itself.

Whether your current goal is to grow the business, sell it, pass it on to the next generation or just run it more effectively, you have probably had to deal with issues around succession, taxation, valuation, communication, boundaries, cross-generational conflict, decision making and conflict resolution, to name just a few.

But the issues that can really keep you awake at night are ones that don’t always have a quick fix or ready-made solution. See if any of the sample statements below are familiar:

• Why can’t our family members ever really get to the heart of an issue without someone shutting down?

• Since Dad controls everything and everybody, why bother to provide input in decision making?

• Shouldn’t all children be treated equally in Mom and Dad’s estate, irrespective of whether we have been involved in the business?

• Isn’t there some objective criterion for a position in this business besides blood line?

• How can we, as the family, involve non-family executives in the decision making process without losing control of the business?

• Can the kids really run the business?

Business families that choose to ignore these types of thorny business/family issues do so at their peril and can inadvertently set the stage for strained family relationships and ineffective business decision making. And the discordant atmosphere that results ends up spilling over into successive generations, creating a legacy of mistrust and disharmony and quite possibly financial disaster.

There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution to these issues. The solutions are as unique as the family members themselves and it is important that you find the solution that fits your family and your business. You should strive for resolutions that preserve your family, along with its values, vision and traditions. And if your goal is to grow the business, the solutions need to accomplish that and plan for succession in a manner that leaves an enduring legacy for future generations.

Ron Prehogan is President of Equitas Consultants Inc., a consulting business that provides succession planning and communications advice to businesses and business families.